What's Outside Your Window

Here's mine.

I took this a couple of days ago when never never land was being punished by Zeus coz I lost my bet against Peter Pan in the ateneo vs feu championship game. That's why you guys are having a sunny weather back there.

I thought being sent to never never land was a punishment I would have to serve for a million lightyears; that I am doomed to be miserable and sad forever. Then I realized after looking at this picture that no matter where I am now, no matter how hard life can get, there is still beauty and happiness. All I need to do is to look within myself and use my heart to look beyond the horizon.

I am no expert when it comes to tackling life's hardest issues, hell, I even suck at it. But come to think of it, the torture you need to go through in school, the pain of working your ass off for a salary just enough for your daily fare, the agony of being unemployed and being stuck at home every single day - all of these make us feel human. We stumble and fall in our pursuit for happiness but what's important is that we rise everytime we fall with our chin held high and with a smile on our face.

We always think that getting something we really want constitutes happiness. But why do we have to wait for so long when we can be happy now?

Delight in simple things.

Appreciate the little joys life showers you.

Be grateful.

Every single day.

Remember, you could always choose to be happy.

p.s. I'm really sorry this post sounds like a lecture. haha. I'm just talking to myself really.  Damn, I forgot where I placed my comedy wand. :) 

Rainy Days

let me just say this, ok?

i am not okay.

you don't know how it feels like being in the cold and unfriendly side of the world with no family to turn to, no friends to help you laugh your troubles away, no boyfriend when you are in dire need of a hug, and no familiar place you can go to when you feel so sad and alone.

maybe these are all just in my mind or a consequence of thinking too much when you've got nothing else to do. believe me, i've been trying to cheer myself up. i am forcing myself not to think too much, directing my attention to things that have interested me before but to no avail.

i still feel so sad and alone.

i am lost without a cause.

unmotivated.

uninspired to become the best that i can be.

i think i am stuck in the pre-adulthood crisis, or so i think i am. it's like i am at this point in my life when i don't know which way to go, which road to take.

i've been praying to God, asking Him what He wants me to be and where in this world should He want me to serve. i want to know the reason for my existence. what on earth am i here for?

i have a lot of dreams for myself when i was younger. i wanted to become a missionary, a doctor, a chef, or a photojournalist. marrying the man i love, raising wonderful kids and having a simple yet a happy home are all part of the list too. but before i settle down i want to find myself first, be the woman that i ought to be so that i could completely and selflessly give myself to others. 

i used to think that my dreams and aspirations are enough to make me successful. then i realized that at some point in my life, i need to stop thinking about what i want and start thinking about how i could take part in God's marvelous plan for humankind.

i believe i am a step closer towards happiness and contentment though i still don't know for now where i'm heading. i am letting go of the plans and dreams i've made for myself. sometimes we need to let life unfold itself before our very eyes and decide on things when the right time comes.   

 i am young. i am smart. i am talented (i think). and most of all, i have the gift of FAITH and the capacity to LOVE.

everything will fall into place in due time.
just give me some time to figure out myself first.

Spin My Troubles Away

I hope it isn't as hard as doing the laundry.

hehe

Bata Batuta

Old Lady: "Eto pala ang anak mo, Joseph. Ilang taon kana hija?"

Me (smiling): "Twenty-one na po, ma'am."

OL: "Talaga? Twenty-one kana hija? Akala ko kanina eleven years old ka pa lang. May boyfriend kana?"

Me (still smiling): "Eh ang eleven years old nga may boyfriend na, ako pa kaya?" But I kept this line to myself. haha 

Kids will always be kids. They remind us of who we once were and their future is a clear reminder of who we are now.

So go on! Live, laugh, love and have kids.

I mean: Live with, laugh with and love kids.

For as long as there is love in this world, there will always be kids. hehe

What a wonderful world indeed. :)

Hopelessly Lost

God is like GPS.

He knows the map of your life even before you were born. He tells you when to turn right or when to turn left or if you should take the motorway or to take the exit right in two miles. Even if you deliberately choose to go your own way, He has alternate routes prepared and will reroute your course until you have reached your destination.

What are you waiting for?
Listen to your GPS device.
Pray.

Blogger's Note: Those bold phrases above are actual phrases uttered by a GPS device. Photo taken last July while we were on our way to Long Beach.

I Just Figured Out Blue's Clues

Peter Pan had been sending his messages in hidden codes today. He doesn't want Ursula, Poseidon and all the evil sea creatures get hold of our secret conversation (which was about ateneo vs. feu, i think.. haha. simanga).

I was about to go mad at him for sending me messages I don't understand (I'm such a loser when it comes to techy stuffs you know) when Steve and Blue came to the rescue! They let me use their handy dandy GT.

So guess what, Peter Pan? I figured it out.

ポトフが勝つ。あなたが踊っている。ハハ！

So Help Me God

Kasihan nawa ako ng Diyos.

I never thought the oath is done in Tagalog. So I stumbled with my words, made the wrong pronounciation a couple of times, and stuck my tongue out every now and then as I made a fool out of myself in front of the young and handsome Vice Consul. Demn. It must be because of my american accent. wahaha! atik ra.

Pwede bisaya ang oath para sa mga bisaya? aw.

Tabangi tawn ko Ginoo.

pwede.

The Knocking Monster

I wake up around 9am and sleep again until before noon ever since I got here in never never land. I turned on the computer to check my fb if someone misses me back home (but lately wala nay nagparamdam, how sad) like I always do before hitting back the sack when suddenly there was a loud banging on the door, our very own front door!

I managed to peek through the window and saw a horrible-looking monster with very big feet and chubby hairy legs. I freaked out so I ran and hid in the bathroom. What if that monster is a sex offender or a serial killer? Or perhaps the police coming to arrest me for not going to school coz I look like a kid? Or maybe an alien looking for a pretty mate to produce offsprings that will rule the universe? Oh my, spare me please.

Just then the banging stopped.

It took me the entire afternoon before I had the courage to open the door and when I did, I found a pink note stuck somewhere near the door knob. It turned out it was nice Mr. Postman delivering an express mail from mom. Now we have to get the mail at the post office.

I didn't tell dad what happened today coz for sure he'll laugh at me nonstop. haha!

How quick are we to judge other people just by the way he looks or the way he dresses himself? Knowing someone is a lifelong process and true friends stick it out through the good times and the bad or no matter how crazy you get. Great souls can be found in the most unlikely places, in the person you least expected.

The lesson? Never hide in the bathroom, just crawl under the bed. haha. Hey, you can't blame me. His knocking really did sound as if he was about to bulldoze our place! :)

Across the Ocean

                

                  Long Distance - Bruno Mars

              This song is for you. You know who you are. 

Let's Do Some Catching Up

Where have you been?

Oh well, I was busy trying to save the world before bedtime.

By studying.

Nursing is a stressful course and it demanded much of my time and attention. I literally had to juggle my thick books and my huge stack of photocopied notes just to get to the finish line. Plus I need to scrub in just to see the insides of a man, assist more than a dozen of wailing moms deliver their most precious creation, and see people dying or living.

I have learned to love my course. More than just being of service to my fellow human beings; I came to witness the glory of death and the joy of bringing new life to this world in just a blink of an eye - at the emergency room. It made me appreciate life and accept the reality of death. I am a better person now after everything I had witnessed.

My sacrifices and hardwork paid off, "Look Mom! For the first time I'm wearing a toga." (I never got to wear one during our elementary and high school graduation.)

After marching in march (haha), we got busy preparing for the day that would serve as a make or break for our future as nurses. Guess what? We managed to break it, break the expectations of those who doubted our capabilities. Yeah boy!

Just when I was about to celebrate my legalness (is there such a word? whatever), a paper airplane took me away to never never land without my Peter Pan. So yeah, I'm still stuck here fighting pirates, feeding dinosaurs, and talking to deranged genies. Oh save me please before I go crazy. I wanna go home so freakin bad, I don't care if you turn me into a frog in the process. Eeewww...

p.s. I'm not Wendy. I'm Tinkerbell. Peter Pan's friend ever since he was young. I'm tiny ever since. haha. Did you know Tinkerbell secretly loves Peter Pan? Peter Pan is starting to love Tinker Bell too but things are getting hard coz she's so far away. Just hold on tight Peter Pan, I'll be back pretty soon after I gather enough pixie dusts. But until then, forget Wendy. She won't be there for you long enough than I do and always have been. She can't even fly.

p.p.s. Who's Wendy? This is a crazy post. haha

Look What I Found

Whoa!

I totally forgot this blog even exists. I must have been really busy then with school.

Yey. Now I have something to do na while in exile. I'm soooo excited. haha

p.s. I'm not yet a good old granny ha. (see my previous post). lol

zoOoOom

Just look at how time flies really fast.

Exactly three years ago I was this simple, painfully shy, fresh-from-highschool-about-to-enter-college teenager. I was a nervous wreck back then. I feared entering a big university because I was afraid of getting lost in a sea of unfamiliar faces and at the same time lose my individuality in order to fit in. Peer pressure, anyone?

Now I'm still the simple, shy, and oh yes, the nervous wreck that I was who manages to hide her anxiety with her sweet smile (naks!), soon to be young adult about to face the final year of her gruesome college life. Let's face it, I'm still the same old me with a few drops of confidence. But hey! College isn't that bad after all except for the requirements and stuff. Thank God for friends.

I still can't believe time flies this ultra fast. Who knows, the next time I blog I'm good old granny fighting for computer time with her grandchildren. haha. Just kidding.

goodbye HEALTH CARE and MICROBIOLOGY!
finally, i'm over the two of you. haha!
welcome nutrition and ncm. lol

i'm happy over the results man.
i passed the final examinations on both subjects.
it pays to read then sleep early. haha!
am so happy i'm over it! weeee...

can't sleep pa though.
i wonder why i'm not sleepy yet.
must be because of the liters of water i drank. lol

sad valentine's day. :(

today is valentine's day. i'm sad. i miss my high school friends so much. it has been ages since we last saw each other. i miss them so bad. but i don't know if they still value me that much now. the feeling of being so alone and having no one to talk to makes me cry. i never really wanted to cry. crying makes me look stupid. but yeah. it did make me feel quite better.

i've been sitting and thinking all day through about what have i not done to make the friendship on fire. i've been busy trying to pass cnu's standards. and right now, i'm paying the price. my high school friends don't care about me at all or maybe they are busy with school too. they didn't even bother to text and say 'happy valentine's day'. they don't ask me out like they used to. they have completely forgotten me. and i can't forgive myself for letting it happen. ugh. wah. i don't want to cry anymore.

but sadness aside, i'm happy coz special people made me smile throughout the day. it was so sweet of mayor charlie to give roses to the girls in class and chocolates for the boys. i was touched. close college friends made me smile and laugh. i can't thank them enough.

i love my college friends but i miss my high school friends so much.

of not studying and failing exams

ugh. i failed microbio. i should be immuned to failures by now but i guess this time, it's all my fault. oh man. i didn't study thinking that i could be like a giraffe or a tarsier even for just a day (everyday diay). that test was easy if only i studied. but i didn't. and regret is killing me now. ugh. better luck next time. i guess.

during my first year as a college student, i never felt 'at home' to the class i belong to. everyone just seem to be smarter, prettier, more talented than everyone else. people were clustered according to the school where they finished their high school - sci high, cnu, usc, etc. i felt like a rock being thrown into a basket full of precious gems. but as time passes, i slowly came to know them. group presentations and projects became avenues for us to share and to show that we care for each other. we are still in our second year in a battlefield called nursing but now it seems that we are like best buddies who just so happen to meet again after so many years of being apart. we're starting to discover that we have so many similarities amidst our stark contrasts, that we can adjust to give way to other people. now i don't feel like a stone in the middle of beautiful gems. i am slowly polished into a priceless diamond as each moment passes us by.

thanks BSN II-A for everything.